Do you ever feel like your grief will never go away?

It’s a question that haunts many of us who are grieving: Will this pain ever end? Will I ever feel normal again?

I want to be honest with you: grief doesn’t completely go away. But here’s the important part—the intensity and harshness of the edges may soften over time.

The Early Days

In the immediate aftermath of losing my son, breathing became difficult and required conscious effort. I remember having to consciously think about taking each breath—in, out, in, out. The physical weight of grief was crushing, making even the most basic functions of living feel impossibly hard.

Everything was sharp edges and raw pain. Every moment felt like drowning, like being trapped underwater with no air.

As Time Passes

As months progressed, those physical symptoms eased, though the emotional pain remained. I didn’t have to consciously remind myself to breathe anymore. My body began functioning on autopilot again. But my heart? My heart was still shattered.

Years later, I still experience periodic waves of emptiness. But here’s what’s different: these waves now pass within minutes, replaced by feelings of love. The grief transforms—it becomes less about the agony of loss and more about the enduring love that remains.

We Grieve Because We Love

Here’s an important perspective that has helped me: we grieve because we love.

The depth of our grief is a reflection of the depth of our love. The pain doesn’t mean something is wrong with us—it means we loved deeply and continue to love deeply. That love doesn’t die when our loved one does. It continues, transforming over time from sharp, cutting pain into something gentler, softer.

What to Expect

Your grief may never completely disappear, and that’s okay. What changes is:

• The intensity becomes less overwhelming
• The acute pain gradually becomes more manageable
• The waves come less frequently and pass more quickly
• The memories bring more smiles than tears (though tears are still okay)
• You learn to carry the grief alongside joy, rather than being consumed by it

Hope for Your Journey

If you’re in the early stages of grief and everything feels unbearable, please know: it won’t always be this intense. The love for your person will continue to resurface—that’s beautiful and right. But the sharp edges will soften. The moments of peace will become longer. Life will find its way back in, even as you continue to honor your loss.

You’re not meant to “get over” your grief. You’re meant to integrate it, to learn to carry it with grace, to let it transform from something that destroys you into something that deepens you.

---

Be patient with yourself. Healing isn’t linear, and there’s no timeline for grief. What you’re feeling is valid, and there is hope for peace ahead.